4 Reasons you should never pick up an anxious dog: And what to do instead…

It’s perfectly natural to want to pick up your dog when they’re frightened. You see them cowering, unsure, and it’s instinctive to want to scoop them up, hold them close, and try to comfort them. After all, we want our dogs to feel safe and protected. But here’s the thing: while your intentions are coming from a place of love; picking up your anxious dog might actually be making things worse in the long run. Here are 4 reasons you should never pick up an anxious dog: And what to do instead…

Reason 1: Picking Up Your Dog Inhibits Natural Behaviour

When dogs are scared, their first reaction is to adjust their posture or position. This might involve moving further away, standing side-on to whatever’s scaring them, or even adopting avoidance behaviours as a way to diffuse tension. These actions are part of a dog’s natural repertoire for de-escalating stressful situations.

But when we pick them up, we strip them of these options. We make them stay still and hold them in a position that’s unnatural for them. They lose the ability to show their belly as a sign of submission or move into a better position that might make them feel safer.

Even worse, by holding them up high, we’re forcing them into a situation where they can’t choose flight and may feel compelled to rely on defensive or aggressive behaviours. Essentially, we’re taking away their natural coping mechanisms, leaving them feeling more vulnerable and less able to deal with the situation.

Reason 2: Picking Up Your Dog Restricts Communication

Dogs communicate using their entire bodies. They rely on their tails, their muscle tone, and the way they hold themselves to send clear signals to other dogs, people, and even us. When you pick them up, their ability to communicate is severely limited.

Think about it—when a dog is in your arms, they can’t wag or tuck their tail. They can’t shift their posture, crouch, or roll over. All they’re left with is their eyes, ears, and mouth to communicate. This means barking, growling, snapping, or staring become their only options.

Losing these subtle forms of communication is incredibly damaging to a dog’s confidence and resilience. When they can’t communicate effectively, they’re less likely to recover from frightening experiences. Instead, they may become more anxious and reactive in similar situations in the future and this could leave them with some trauma.

Also check out: What anxious and reactive behaviour is really trying to tell us!

Reason 3: Picking Up Your Dog Makes Them Feel Trapped

When faced with something scary, dogs have two main options: fight or flight. But when you pick them up, you eliminate the flight option entirely. They can’t move away from what’s scaring them, leaving them with no choice but to rely on aggression or defensive behaviours to cope.

This feeling of being trapped can be deeply distressing for your dog. If the situation ends without injury, they may start to associate their defensive reactions with success. In other words, they’ll think their barking, snapping, or growling worked to keep the threat at bay. This can reinforce these behaviours, making them more likely to rely on aggression in future situations.

Reason 4: Being Picked Up Feels Strange or Uncomfortable

Let’s be honest: not all dogs enjoy being picked up. It can make them feel unbalanced, uncomfortable, or even cause physical pain. When you add this to an already stressful situation, you’re giving your dog two things to fear: the original trigger and the sensation of being hoisted into the air.

Think about it from your dog’s perspective. Being held up changes their view of the world—it looks different, it smells different, and they’ve lost the stability of standing on their own four paws. For a dog already feeling scared or unsure, this can amplify their anxiety and make the experience even worse.

What to Do Instead of Picking Up Your Dog

So, if picking them up isn’t the solution, what can you do to help your dog when they’re scared? Here’s a better approach:

1. Create Distance: Lead your dog away from whatever is scaring them. The more space you can create between them and the trigger, the safer they’ll feel.
2. Observe and Reflect: In the moment, your focus should be on helping your dog feel safe. Later, take time to reflect on what went wrong and how you can address it with a long-term training plan.

Remember, the goal is not to solve the problem in that moment but to understand the root cause and work on it properly at a later time. This way, you can build their confidence and resilience so that they’re less likely to feel overwhelmed in the future.

Helping Your Dog Build Confidence

Every scary moment is an opportunity to show your dog that they can rely on you and that they have the tools to cope. By keeping their paws on the ground and giving them the space to react naturally, you’re empowering them to manage their emotions and communicate effectively.

Over time, with the right support and training, your dog will learn that they don’t need to feel scared or react defensively when faced with a trigger. Instead, they’ll start to trust that you’ve got their back and that they’re safe in a scary world.

Final Thoughts

I know it’s hard to resist the urge to pick up your dog when they’re scared—it’s such a human instinct. But by never pick up an anxious dog and keeping them grounded, literally and figuratively, you’re doing so much more to help them in the long run.

If you’re struggling with an anxious or reactive dog, remember that you’re not alone. There are so many ways to help them feel more confident and secure, and it all starts with understanding their needs and giving them the tools to cope.